Saturday, per the No Lies! note, I was out on the deck sanding away with my little 5″ rotating sander. After a couple of hours of work I had MAYBE 1/4 of the deck sanded. Yesterday, while at Home Depot buying more sanding pads, I wandered into the tool rental area per the wife’s instruction to see what it would take to rent a floor sander. You know, one of those really big round ones that have been the staple of comedy movies and Three Stooges shorts since the dawn of time.
Didn’t rent one of those big, bad boys, but I did rent a 4X24 belt sander. Got it home, plugged in with a new sanding pad and set it on the deck. I looked at Sally and said, for the record, “This will either be the best thing ever or the worst Tim Allen moment of all time.”
She looked at me quizzically. “What do you mean?”
“You know. Home Improvement. We could have a Tim Allen fucks with the dishwasher and now it belches fire moment.”
She just shook her head, sat back on the jacuzzi step and took a drink of her Bubble Up*.
I squat down, grab the handle, place my other hand on the front grip, not too tight, and squeeze the trigger. The sander leaps forward like my Ford Mustang at a green light and wobbles around three or four boards before I get it under control. I stop it and look at my initial ‘handiwork’. Bare wood is showing in long, flowing curves which follow the contours of each board. I laugh and make ape noises, turn that bad boy back on and get to work.
Thirty minutes later and two sanding bands later, we’re done.
*I had bought a ‘vintage soda’ 12-pack from New Seasons. Three bottles each of Dad’s root beer, Bubble Up, Nugrape grape soda, and Nesbitt’s Orange soda. For the record, Bubble Up is SO much better than 7-Up.
You may not recall, but Bubble Up was your Uncle Joe’s favorite and we had it around all the time until it became scarce and then unavailable. It is the superior lemon-lime soda.