Signs of spring

You know it’s springtime in Portland when:

• Rockbottom Brewery and The Lotus put out their sidewalk tables.
• I drove the ‘stang with the top down for the first time since October.
• The grass needs mowing again, and it’s not pretty.

The first is more of an indication of spring rather than a sign. The tables have been out for almost a month but there have been quite a few cold and rainy days. Portlanders skoff at rain, but aren’t so crazy as to sit in it to drink beer.

What can I say? Driving with the top down ROCKS!

The last was a doosy for me. Looking back, I realized I hadn’t had to mow grass in 4-1/2 years. I’ve simple not had yards with grass until now. Yesterday was the trek to Home Depot to buy a new lawnmower and I will admit to getting a bit excited at the thought of a new toy. We bought a shiny new Briggs and Stratton 6.5 horsepower (arrrr-arrr), lawnmower with mulching capability (arrr-arrr), rear catch bag (arr-arr) with optional side discharge (arr-arr-arr).

My heart sang with manly joy as I lightly skimmed the safety and operating instructions and tossed the manual aside to fill the the mower with oil and gas for the very first time. I practically skipped as I pushed the mower to the end of the driveway and prepared for the very first pull of the engine cord. This model had no priming bubble (arrr-arrr-arrr) and the engine purred to life at the very first yank of the cord.

I started with the grass strips along the sidewalk. Three quick passes. Done! Now the side yard. Done! So far the mower chewed through the grass like a starving fat man in an all you can eat buffet line. I finished the side yard and it sat there purring contentedly, clearly undaunted by what I had given it to do so far. Come on, it seemed to say, is this wussy flat stuff all you got?

Next was the front yard. Our house is build on a flat plot of land above the street, our front yard slopes up toward the house on two sides of the corner lot. This would be the mower’s first challenge. How would it handle the steepest part of the slope near the bottom? How will it maneuver around our newly installed picket fence at the bottom of the slope? Will it stil be hungry for the thick 8 inch tuffs of grass? Let’s see what you’ve got now, mower!

I start out at the top near the front door and take her along the top edge of the grass, around the corner to the end of our lot. So far no problem. The grass is thick but the mower just eats it all with ease. I make the turn at the end and come back around. Another turn and the mower starts to sputter and slow. Hmm. I let go of the dead man switch and check the catch bag. Completely full. The cut grass is damp and heavy and resists my efforts at dumping it in the grass bin. After a few up and down shakes of the bag, the grass gives up the fight and falls into the bin with a heavy thump. The smell of new mown grass fills my nose.

I pull the cord, the engine starts right up and off we go. By the third pass we’ve come to the large oval flowerbed at the corner of our yard. This provides a natural separation between the front portion and the side portion of the yard. I decide to continue with the front portion besause the slope here is more pronounced. I work my way down the slope to the edge and hit my first obstacle.

As I work the mower down the slope to the edge, I slip on the wet grass and nearly lose my footing. The mower hits the fence. I struggle to maneuver the mower parallel to the fence. I can’t get a clean edge because the slope’s angle conspires with gravity to make the mower want to continue downhill. I use all my strength to push the mower along the edge of the fence, fighting to keep a straight line, but gravity wins and the mower rolls into the fence. I pull the mower back and brute force the mower straight before gravity wins again. This process is repeated all along the bottom edge of the fence. By the time I’m done with that front section, I’m sweating buckets despite the cool spring temperatures and I’ve lost a bit of the cocky bravado I had at the start.

All through the front yard, the mower keeps eating the grass, no problem. The steady purr of the engine mocks me in my struggles, as if to say ‘Slope? What slope? All I see is grass. What’s the problem? A little out of shape are we?’

I get through the front portion of the yard and move to the side portion. When I started, I figured 10, 15 minutes, tops, but I’ve had to dump the grass bag four times now and my arms are starting to complain and it’s been a half hour. Plus, clouds are rolling in, showers are expected, and dark is falling. I fear I won’t be able to get the back yard done in time.
All the while, the mower just purrs along.

I start on the back yard finally. I figure this part will be a breeze. It’s all flat back there. Still, by this time, the grass bin is nearly full and getting to be a bitch to push around on the damp grass. The mower just sits contently waiting as I get the grass bin into the back yard.

The streetlights have come on and the clouds have completely covered the sky by the time I finish the back yard. The grass bin is filled to the brim and my arms are jello from pushing the mower back and forth across a yard that seems to have grown in size as I traversed it.

I empty the grass catcher for the last time and push the mower into it’s new resting place in the garage. I hear the clicks and pings of the engine cooling and realize I’ve been humbled.